Unca Jeem's Adventures in Babysitting
by nerdielady
Summary: Jim Kirk has to go to babysitting classes because of the mess he made when babysitting for Spock's son Grayson. Last chapter up.
1. Chapter 1:Introduction to Babysitting

**Unca Jeem's Adventures in BabySitting Class**

**Chapter One - Introduction to BabySitting**

**On the Enterprise**

**7 May 2270**

Jim dressed carefully in civilian clothing, a favorite pair of well-broken in jeans and a pullover sweater. He brushed his hair and teeth. Had to look good today. He headed for the mess hall. This was earlier than most people ate breakfast on Saturday, but he had an appointment at 0800 this morning. One he was most definitely _not_ looking forward to. He had even left the TGIF party early last night to ensure that he got sufficient sleep and would be awake and alert this morning. This was so not fair! He heaved a sigh as he got up and carried his tray to the busing station, emptied it and slid it into the recycle slot. He grabbed a sealed damp wipe from the bowl there and quickly ran it over his hands and face and dropped it through the slot as well. Time to go.

Off down the corridor to a part of the ship he was seldom in. This was the area where the day care center and school rooms were. He knew they were here, he had even seen them, but it had been years since he was down here. He felt uncomfortable. And it was only going to get worse.

With a deep sigh he entered the designated room. There was a middle-aged woman in Medical blues standing there. This must be the instructor for the class. He didn't _really_ think it was necessary to introduce himself, but he sucked it up and did anyway. She smirked at him and ticked his name off on her list. "Please take a seat anywhere, Jimmy."

He gawped at her. _Jimmy? _ Nobody had called him that in many years.

"We only use first names here." She looked straight at him. "And I know _exactly_ why you're here, so go sit down."

He certainly wasn't used to being addressed like that, but he swallowed his indignation and tried to find a seat that was big enough to be comfortable.

The remainder of the class filed in by twos and threes and in a few minutes all the seats were full - of giggling teen-aged girls. Oh, this was going from bad to worse.

The instructor called the roll, asking each person to stand when their name was called and give a short description of previous babysitting experience. When it was his turn, he rose, extremely self-conscious. "Hi, my name is...Jimmy. And I only have one experience with babysitting, when I took care of the son of friends of mine for one day while they had to be off-ship." He sat down again in a hurry.

"And how old was this child, Jimmy?"

"Uh, almost two, I think."

"Okay, class, now here we have something that you all need to be aware of. One of the most important things you need to know about your charges is their age. So Jimmy, your first piece of homework for next week is to find out _exactly_ how old your little charge was on the day you took care of him." She glared at him and he swallowed.

"Yes, ma'am." What else could he say?

"Now take out your PADDs and get ready to take notes."

PADDs? He was supposed to bring a PADD? He didn't remember that in the notice. He got a very reproving look from the instructor as she handed him a very well-worn PADD and a crooked stylus. "You must transfer your notes onto your own PADD and return this one next week." She glared at him once more.

"Yes, ma'am." This was getting monotonous.

"The first topic for today is 'How to Obtain Information from the Family about the Child'." He would have sworn that she was speaking with capital letters.

"Each of you should have received a copy of the Child Information Sheet. You are allowed to make modifications to this form as it is just a template. You may add questions, decorate the form, add music to it, just use your imagination. When you are satisfied, then save the form and always make a copy to take with you on every babysitting job. Now we're going to go through the questions so that you understand each one thoroughly. The first question is the child's name. It is absolutely essential that you know the child's full name, as well as any nicknames that the child has. Who can explain why?" She looked around at the wildly waving hands, but for some unknown reason, she called on _him_. "Can you tell us, Jimmy?"

"Uh, so the child will come when you call?"

"Well, I wouldn't put it quite that way, but that is part of the reason, yes. Very good. In order to facilitate proper interaction, the child must be addressed in a familiar manner."

Lord, this woman must have taken speaking lessons from Spock! How the heck was he supposed to put up with eight weeks of this?

"Now the next question is the child's sex. Who can say why this question is on the form?"

Kid's have sex? Couldn't be. He shook his head. Oh, she means what is the sex of the child. Yeah, right. Male, female. Oh, wait, the Andorians have four sexes. Hmm. Guess it does matter.

The questions droned on and on. After two hours, the topic changed. Now they were learning about the stages of child development. Who knew? This was wild stuff. After another hour, the topic changed to nutrition. He learned more about what kids should eat and why than he had any desire for.

At last the four hours was up. He sighed in relief.

"Now be sure to read the material for the next class and don't forget your PADDs next time! And complete the homework and send it to me by Friday morning. That's all, see you next Saturday."

Wait a minute! HOMEWORK? Reading assignment? It wasn't bad enough he had to give up his Saturday mornings, now he was going to have to find more time for this stupid class. He waited until all the giggly girls had left the room before rising from the too-small chair and stretching the kinks out. He took off for 'his' part of the ship as fast as he could. He was almost clear of this part of the ship when Spock came around the corner, Grayson balanced on his left hip.

"Unca Jeem, Unca Jeem! Did you like your class? Was it fun?"

"Yeah, kid, sure. Lots of fun." He ran his hand through his hair and looked ruefully at Spock. "I was damned stupid and you're never going to let me forget it, are you?"

"I will let you forget as soon as you have successfully completed the course." The voice was calm and level, but Jim was sure he saw a twinkle in the eyes.


	2. Chapter 2:Basic Care

**Unca Jeem's Adventures in BabySitting Class**

**Chapter Two - Basic Care**

**On the Enterprise**

**14 May 2270**

Jim stretched and yawned. He should definitely have come home from the TGIF dance earlier. He stumbled into his shower and set it for a good bit cooler than normal. He really needed to wake up fast. The cool water certainly did the trick. Shivering, he stumbled out of the shower and toweled himself briskly, trying to get his circulation going again.

Quickly he dressed, much as last week, and hurried down the corridor to the mess hall to grab a quick breakfast before class. He didn't dare be late. He only realized that he had forgotten his PADD when he had finished eating. Back to his quarters, quickly, and now he must hurry to arrive on time.

He barely made it into the classroom before the instructor began. She glared at him and he sunk down on his tailbone. First she commented on everyone's homework. He had certainly sweated over that. Anything other than a perfect score simply wasn't going to be acceptable.

And now for today's lesson. He had read all the material carefully, but he didn't understand how it was going to be taught - not until the instructor opened up a cabinet and started bringing out the automatons. Well, she called them dolls, but when she flipped that little switch, they started to move, and cry, and....they looked so damn real! She started at the far end of the room, and gave each student one of the 'pretend' babies, making sure they were held correctly. At least, he did know how to do that. When she stood in front of him, he took the proffered 'baby' and slid his hands protectively under the back and neck, cradling the proxy infant against his chest. The instructor actually smiled at him, will wonders never cease!

The instructor walked back to the cabinet and came out with an armful of bottles. She went down the line, handing one to each student. "The next part of the instruction for this week involves the feeding of infants. The bottle must be held at the proper angle so that the infant does not suck air into it's stomach. Who can tell me why? Jimmy?"

"Uh, gas. You don't want the kid to get gas."

"Very good, Jimmy. I see you did read your homework. So now each of you, begin to feed your charge."

He looked at the proxy infant in his arms and lifted the hand containing the bottle, angling it at what he sincerely hoped was the correct angle, bringing the nipple closer and closer to the small mouth, until it touched the lips and was eagerly sucked in. Interested in spite of himself, he watched the small mouth work on the nipple, an expression of delight on the little face. How did they get expressions on those faces, anyway? He was so interested that he almost missed the next part of the instructions. He set the bottle down and lifted the small body carefully up against his shoulder, patting gently. The enormity of the ensuing burp was staggering. Who knew that kids burped like that?

"And now students, the inevitable result of feeding an infant - wet diapers. So bring your charges over to the changing tables."

Well, he'd done this. But better be extra careful. That sharp-eyed biddy wouldn't be nearly as easy to please as Grayson had been.

The class continued. The spoon feeding was horrible. So messy - and he didn't in the least like being spit all over. How on earth did people do this day after day? And, of course, after the spoon feeding came the dirty diaper. He wrinkled his nose and persisted.

He would get through this. He was determined. And then the instructor collected and deactivated all the little proxy babies, just before a parade came in the door. REAL babies! He gaped.

"Today we have been very fortunate. We have with us the current class from pediatrics, with their mothers. So you get to have some real live practice."

And the next hour was spent with an extremely watchful mother hovering over him as he cared for her young daughter. He was very, very grateful when she was collected and removed from the room. He paid close attention to the homework assignment and rose gladly to exit the room. Only six more of these to go!

Off down the corridors, quickly, headed back to the _real_ part of the ship. But not fast enough to escape his First Officer, come to check that he had, in fact, attended the class.

"Damn it, Spock! Are you going to check up on me every week?" Of course he was. He ought to have known that.


	3. Chapter 3:Playtime Activities

**Unca Jeem's Adventures in BabySitting Class**

**Chapter Three - Playtime Activities**

**On the Enterprise**

**21 May 2270**

Jim drug himself out of bed and headed for the bathroom. Time to get ready for another fun morning of baby-sitting class. Cold water on his face had him jumping around, but at least he was awake. Clean jeans, clean sweater, head out the door, stop, go back, grab PADD, off to the mess hall.

Nobody to eat with. Who wants to get up this early on Saturday?

Down the corridors, down the turbolift, more corridors, here we are. "Good morning, ladies."

Sit in the tiny chair. Get the PADD ready. Yes, I read the homework.

"This morning students, we are going to learn how to play with children."

I can do that. Already. I have done that. Already.

"I know some of you may think that this is easy. Let me assure you that it is not."

Oh, it's easy enough. It's just if you don't really know what you're doing, the kid throws up all over you. That's not much fun.

"It is very important to select the correct activities and toys for the age and development of the child."

Now they tell me. That would have been useful to know before. Guess that's why I'm here, isn't it.

"We will also learn about the importance of play in a child's growth and development and how to identify unsafe toys and play activities."

That is definitely something I need to know. Time to pay attention.

"The final part of this morning's lesson will be child discipline."

Whoa! Bondage for kids! Not happening here, no way. Oh, that's not what she meant. Whew!

The instructor droned on and on. Jim paid attention, taking notes. Since the majority of his interaction with Grayson had always been play activities, he did recognize the importance of these rules. He paid very close attention to the methods for identifying unsafe toys and play activities for different developmental stages. This was good stuff.

He hadn't really realized just how important it was to choose toys based on the child's motor skills, language skills, and self-awareness. Eye-hand coordination was extremely important in many playtime activities. He could see that. Throwing balls at little kids that weren't equipped to catch them yet could result in the kid being hurt, or being scared of balls. Made perfect sense.

And when the topic turned to appropriate punishment, he was astounded. Okay, it made sense to caution people about corporal punishment - you didn't want people pounding on kids for things they were too young to understand. But the other stuff, about withholding things the kids liked when they didn't behave - now that was a novel concept. And restricting a kid to a room with no toys or games or comlink access, so that they had to think about what they had done wrong - obviously that wasn't going to work on a kid that was too young. This was very interesting stuff.

He was surprised to discover that the class was over. Wow, look at all the notes he'd taken! He shook his head and shut down the PADD, sticking it in his back pocket. He set off down the corridor, thinking about some of the stuff from the class. He was so deeply in thought that he almost walked right into Spock and Grayson. When he realized who they were, he grabbed Spock's arm. "Hey, let me tell you about all the fascinating stuff I learned this morning. Oh, hi, Grayson. Spock, you'll never believe this." He pulled Spock along with him, down the corridor, chattering madly about the notes he had taken, while Spock worked very hard at suppressing his amusement. Grayson just sat on his baba's shoulders and wondered what had gotten into Unca Jeem.


	4. Chapter 4:Germs

**Unca Jeem's Adventures in BabySitting Class**

**Chapter Four - Germs**

**On the Enterprise**

**28 May 2270**

Jim yelled at the computer when it told him it was time to get up. He sat on the edge of the bed, head in hands. What on earth had possessed him last night? And what the hell was that that Scotty had given him to drink? Damn, his head hurt. He staggered up and into the shower, turning the water on hot and hard.

Feeling marginally more human when he waved the water off, he toweled off and brushed his hair and teeth. Ah, mouth felt much better now! Jeans, tee-shirt, vee-neck sweater. Damn, didn't he have any clean shorts? Definitely time to do laundry.

Off down the corridor to the mess hall. Where was Bones when a man needed a good hang-over remedy? His poor head was still throbbing. Nothing on the food service line looked at all appealing. Maybe he would just have toast. Wait, didn't he remember Bones saying something about fruit juice for a hangover? He grabbed a large glass of orange juice, too. He had just finished his toast and juice when he realized that he had once again forgotten the PADD. Back to his quarters, much to quickly for his head to be comfortable with, grab the PADD, off to class.

The giggling girls were a true torment this morning. Why couldn't they just shut up? He squinted his eyes and tried to focus. What was the instructor talking about now? Germs? Gah!

Who the heck knew germs could be transmitted so many different ways? And those slides of what the effect could be? He was definitely going to hurl if she kept showing those. He winced as another slide of advanced diaper rash was shown. That just didn't look at all comfortable. That little guy had sore skin in places he didn't even like to think about. Oh, no, he couldn't believe the next one. Infected circumcision? He was definitely going to hurl. He clutched his stomach in desperation. The instructor advanced on him, grabbed the back of his head, and forced it down between his knees. What the hell? Wait, he was breathing better. He gasped a few times and felt his breathing slowing down. The instructor from hell let go of his head and backed up a bit. He slowly straightened up, feeling ridiculous. But those slides! How was a guy _supposed_ to react?

Okay, now she was on to hand washing. Whew! Scrubbing under fingernails, how much soap to use, how long to rub up the lather, how to rinse. Damn, who knew hand washing was that complicated. And now she was on about_ when_ to wash your hands. Whoops, before _and_ after changing a diaper? Every time? Before feeding the child? Take notes, damn it.

Disposable gloves? She's kidding right? Apparently not. Well, if I had to handle something like what's in _that_ slide, I'd want gloves, too. Gross! Okay, detailed instructions on how to properly put the danged things on, and then how to take them off without contaminating anything, including yourself. And what do you do with the damn things after they're off? Oh. Okay.

And on to all the many and varied ways that germs can be transmitted among children. Kids put _what _in their mouths? You've _got_ to be kidding! That is just too gross for words! They eat _what_? No way! No kid would be that stupid. Eeuu! Take those slides away. Gah! My eyes will never be the same.

He staggered out of the classroom, totally grossed out, with his head still splitting. Time to head to sick bay for some help. When he saw Spock and Grayson coming down the corridor, he stopped dead. "Little guy, if you ever, ever do any of the stuff I saw this morning, I am so telling your parents!"


	5. Chapter 5:First Aid

**Unca Jeem's Adventures in BabySitting Class**

**Chapter Five - First Aid**

**On the Enterprise**

**4 June 2270**

Jim had been so busy with one emergency after another all week, that he wound up trying to read his homework for babysitting class while he was eating his breakfast. He skimmed over it pretty fast once he identified the topic - after all, basic first aid was required of all cadets at the Academy - and he had had a doctor as a roommate. He ought to ace this stuff without even thinking about it.

He sauntered into the classroom and settled down into the only chair in the room that didn't pinch his butt. He was ready to sit back and kick butt with his superior knowledge. Unfortunately, the class did not go exactly as he had imagined it might.

In the first place, that up-tight instructor started off with slides-from-h**l again. Picture after picture of babies and kids who had been injured in one way or another. Man, some of those pictures would make a man cry! Those kids were really hurt! And then she passed out a form with questions and they had to identify the type of injury each of those kids had and then what kind of treatment it needed. He started to sweat. All those giggling teen-age girls were scribbling like mad, of course.

Then she unlocked a different cabinet than the ones she had used before and brought out what looked like little corpses. He was definitely going to hurl. One by one, she activated those poor little things and made someone come up and demonstrate what to do. That meant HE was going to have to touch one of those poor little things!

When his turn came, the automaton he drew had burns and broken bones. He took a deep breath. "First thing to do is call for medical help, 'cause this kid's in a bad way. First aid simply isn't going to cut it. Next, try to stabilize the broken bones, to reduce pain and prevent further injury. After that, if you've got sterile water, keep the burns wet. And try to keep the patient still and as comfortable as possible." He was shaky when he went to sit back down. He sincerely hoped he was never going to see a little kid in that condition.

Finally, she put those things away. Now she brought out some with much simpler injuries. Instead of triage, now they had to actually perform first aid. He felt a lot more competent with that. Cleaning and bandaging he could do. Then there was CPR. He discovered that, although he knew CPR, he didn't know how to perform it on an infant or small child. If he did it the way he had been trained, he could blow out their lungs! Damn he was glad to find that out before he needed the skill! He paid _very_ close attention.

Now she went through a whole series of things with one of those automatons, giving all sorts of pointers, showing the difference between treating an infant, a toddler, a slightly older child, and an adult. Who knew there were that many differences? How to recognize a breathing emergency - skin tone, breath sounds, facial expression, all sorts of stuff. And how to try to determine what was causing it, particularly if you were where it would be hard to get medical help quick enough to do any good. How to check a conscious infant or child for injury. How to care for a conscious infant or child that was choking - something which was likely to occur, as kids stuck _everything_ in their mouths! And then how to check an unconscious child, which was certainly different.

Then she put that one back in the cabinet and brought out the next one - and this one bled! GAH! How to identify different types of bleeding - nosebleeds, for one. He'd certainly had plenty of those. And once you had it identified, how to control the bleeding. Bleeding from the ears could be really bad. That usual meant a bad head injury. He'd seen some of that. Bleeding from WHERE? Oh, no, please! I'm not looking there, no way. And now open wounds that bleed and how to determine whether a major blood vessel was injured and if so, whether it was a vein or an artery. What to do in either case. And then of course, they had to practice. At least here, he had an advantage over some of those giggling girls, who turned very white and icky looking.

Man, this class had been heavy! He slouched down the hall, hands stuck in his pockets, deep in thought. He certainly hoped it never happened that he had to treat any little kid with injuries that severe. When he rounded the corner and saw Grayson, walking down the hall holding Spock's hand, he knelt down on the floor in front of him. "Hey, Grayson, you are forbidden to break bones, get burned, cut yourself badly, or have anything heavy drop on you. That's an order from your captain, understood?"

Grayson looked at Unca Jeem with his mouth hanging open. He certainly didn't want any of those things to happen to him, either. "Unca Jeem, no, no! Grayson not do that!"

"Okay, good. Just so we're both agreed." He reached out and ruffled Grayson's hair. "Uncle Jim wants you to stay healthy, little guy." He stood up and looked at Spock. "How the heck do you keep him safe?"

"With great care." Spock tilted his head, looking at his friend. "Today's class was first aid, I take it?"

"Yeah. With lots of slides and little robot babies with simulated injuries. Enough to make a grown man cry." he shook his head. "Hard stuff, Spock. Really bad."

"Perhaps a diversion, then? Something to refocus your thoughts?"

"What did you have in mind? I could really use some refocusing about now."

"We are headed for the gym. Grayson is going to get his first lesson on falling safely. We are going to use the new trampoline."

An image of Spock jumping on a trampoline invaded Jim's brain. This was just irresistible. No way he was missing that! "Lead on. Sounds like fun."


	6. Chapter 6:Emergencies

**Unca Jeem's Adventures in BabySitting Class**

**Chapter Six - Emergencies**

**On the Enterprise**

**11 June 2270**

Jim sat on the edge of his bed, trying to work up enough energy to stand up and head for the bathroom. He had been at the TGIF party last night when he had received the summons to the bridge. Something strange out there had triggered an alarm. He had spent four hours on the bridge with Spock, going over all the strange readings, before they finally decided that it wasn't something that was going to prove dangerous to the ship. So he had not had very much sleep. Must be a good morning for a cold shower. With a heavy sigh, he pushed up and staggered across the room.

He looked in the mirror. His eyes were slightly blood-shot. Just great. That stick-up-her-ass instructor was going to assume that he had been out drinking all night. Terrific. He stepped into the shower stall, reset the temperature control and waved his hand under the showerhead to start the waterflow. He almost bolted back out again when the water hit him. Shaking and shivering, he finally cut the water off and reached for the towel. He was definitely awake now!

This week he remembered to grab the PADD on his way out. And he got more than toast and juice for breakfast. He definitely needed the calories today. His energy was at a very low ebb right now. And then he was striding down the corridors, heading for that class. Only two more after today, thank goodness.

He smiled politely at the instructor and took his seat, ready for class to start. He was definitely going to take a nap after this thing was over. Good, there was the last member of the class, so they could get started now.

"Today, students, the topic is emergencies. First we need to define what an emergency is, in relation to small children. Jimmy, suppose you start off."

Not again! Dammit, he just didn't feel like it today. All right. "An emergency involving a small child would be anything that might cause injury to the child or any sudden, severe illness. Or possibly the child becoming lost." He rubbed his forehead, trying to remember whether there was anything else.

"Excellent, Jimmy. And what do we do in an emergency?"

"Uh, assess the level. Analyze the potential damage. Determine whether it's potentially life-threatening. Determine what action needs to be taken, whether anyone else needs to be called in, and then take action." He was so tired, he just wanted to close his eyes and sleep. Why the hell did she keep calling on him?

"And what are the prime causes of emergencies involving small children?"

"Illness, accidents, injuries. Unsupervised children have distinct possibilities of self-injury. Improperly stored cleaning agents, tools, etc, are extremely dangerous to small children." He continued to expound on the topic, his voice almost monotonous, tired to the point where he was beginning to lose focus.

Another voice interrupted him. "Excuse me." He rolled his head, too tired to even lift it up. What was Spock doing here?

The instructor walked over to speak with Spock. "Yes, Commander?"

"The captain is extremely tired this morning, as he was on the bridge for four hours after midnight last night, dealing with an emergency. Quite successfully dealing with it. I believe he can be excused from the remainder of this class period. With your permission, of course."

"I believe you are correct, Commander."

He felt warm hands pulling him up out of his chair. "Spock?"

"Come along. I believe it is time for some rest."

"Ah, a nap would definitely be nice." He threw one arm over Spock's shoulders and allowed himself to be guided out of the classroom and down the hall. "Hey, I didn't even have to watch any slides today!"

That couldn't possibly have been a chuckle, could it? Naw, not possible.

When Spock delivered him to the door to his quarters, he tapped the touchplate beside the door and turned to thank his friend, almost falling through the door when it slid open while he was leaning on it. "I'm gonna sleep now."

"I believe that would be sensible, Jim."

There was definitely a smirk on that face. But he was too tired to make anything of it. He staggered through the door and made straight for his bed, collapsing on it with his boots still on, asleep before his head hit the pillow.


	7. Chapter 7:Problem Solving

**Unca Jeem's Adventures in BabySitting Class**

**Chapter Seven - Problem Solving**

**On the Enterprise**

**18 June 2270**

For once the week had been slow and steady. He had had plenty of time to read the assignment, complete the homework and turn it in well in advance of the deadline. And he had left the TGIF party at 2300 and come straight to his quarters - alone! - and gone right to bed. So when the computer said it was time to get up, he sat up and stretched, actually feeling rested.

Shower, dress, breakfast - don't forget the PADD! Down the corridors to a part of the ship slowly becoming familiar. Hey, who moved all the chairs around! Where the heck is the only one that has enough room for my butt? Okay, let's start now.

"Students, the topic today is Problem Solving." Oh, great, she's talking in capital letters again.

"There is seldom only one solution to a problem, or even one _correct_ solution. So, besides being able to determine what the solutions are, it is necessary to know how to choose the _best_ one."

Oh, that is _so_ not easy!

"Now what must be considered when deciding between potential solutions to a problem? Anyone? Jimmy?"

Huh? He certainly hadn't raised his hand. "Uh, the experience of the person trying to solve the problem? What skills they have and at what level. Um, what the situation is exactly. I mean, the same solution might seem to solve two different problems well until you start to examine the differences in the environment."

"Excellent, Jimmy. I can see you've put some thought into this." The instructor was actually beaming at him.

_Of course_ he'd put some thought into this. What the heck did she think he did all day?

"And how do we determine whether a potential solution is indeed a correct solution to a problem?"

"Uh, well, it has to solve all parts of the problem. And not cause any _new _problems in the process. And preferably not cause any damage to any persons or property."

"Are you listening carefully, students? These are very important considerations."

I don't believe what I'm hearing. She's actually complementing me. Will wonders never cease.

The conversation droned on and on. And somehow got around to the subject of safety problems and environmental issues. Huh, he'd never thought about some of those things. Things which were perfectly safe for adults could be deadly to children. Little kids didn't know not to stick sharp things - or their _fingers_, for pete's sake! - into electrical conduits, plasma generators, etc. You had to keep those things blocked so kids couldn't get at them. Warning signs might work for people who could read, but certainly not for little kids. Locks, cages, recessed panels, all sorts of ways to protect dangerous stuff from being too readily accessible.

Okay, so first you had to access the kid's environment and identify the problems, and then you had to come up with a way to solve those problems in a way that would protect the kid without making it impossible for adults to get the proper access to whatever it was. Got it.

And then he found himself being paired up with one of those giggly girls with a set of problems to solve. And having to explain over and over again, as patiently as he could, why her ideas were not feasible, did not solve the problem, until he was gritting his teeth.

He was so glad when the class was over and he could stride off down the corridor, heading back to the _real _part of the ship. And when he found himself walking beside Spock, with Grayson on his shoulders this morning, he couldn't help but ask questions. "Have you ever considered all the dangers in a normal environment? I mean, things that kids can get into and get hurt?"

"We did 'child proof' our quarters some time ago."

"Child proof? That's a great term!" He walked along for a minutes before continuing. "Maybe we need to 'ensign proof' certain parts of the ship." He got a raised eyebrow for that one, but he was entirely serious.


	8. Chapter 8:Job Related Skills

**Unca Jeem's Adventures in BabySitting Class**

**Chapter Eight - Job Related Skills**

**On the Enterprise**

**25 June 2270**

Jim stood in front of his closet. What was he going to wear today? Wait a minute, wasn't he supposed to have picked up his laundry yesterday? _Was_ there anything to wear? He pawed through the closet, frantic now. There, way at the back, he found a pair of jeans, a bit frayed, but still wearable. He pulled them out and checked all the seams, finding nothing that threatened to give way. Okay, there's half of my body covered. He pulled the last pair of short out of the dresser - these were those tie-dyed ones his nephew had sent him for Christmas last year. Oh well, beggars can't be choosers. Socks, were there any socks? Ah, good. And a tee-shirt - here's one without any rips in it. Now I just need a sweater or something to go on top. Red? All I have left is red? Sigh.

Grab the PADD, head for the mess hall. Last time I have to get up this early on Saturday. I feel like dancing. Better not dance down the hall, wouldn't want the crew to get the wrong idea. Hey, pancakes for breakfast! Lots of butter, maple syrup, and here's even sausage links. Man, this is the best breakfast I've had in months!

Okay, down the corridors into the depths of the ship. Here's the room, now to find that one chair that isn't going to pinch my butt. Why the heck do they keep moving them around? Room's full of giggly girls again, I am not going to pay them any attention. I am going to get through this last class and be FREE!

"Good morning, students. Today we are going to discuss skills you will need to actually secure a babysitting job - writing a resume, being interviewed, evaluating jobs which are offered to you, how to behave on a job, how and what to report to the parents when the job is over, and other related topics."

Damn, I've never written a resume in my life. Can't say that I've ever had many interviews, either. Huh. Who knew those would be important skills in connection with babysitting.

He listened while she droned on about resumes. And then panicked when she gave them twenty minutes to write one. Panicked even more when he had to read it out loud to the roomful of giggly girls.

Then they divided up in pairs and interviewed each other. And the girl he was paired up with kept asking him questions about things like hairdos and applying nail polish. Is that what she really expected to do with her charges?

Next they were given sets of jobs and told to pick the one best suited to their own skills. Or to decide whether or not to accept a certain job, based on what was in the description. This was worse than deciding who to put on an away team! Wait, there were some similarities there!

Proper work behaviors. Yeah, I understand that one. Okay, here's a whole list - mark the ones that are appropriate. Huh, well I guess talking to your boyfriend the whole time would not be appropriate. Right.

Now here's another of those self-assessment things. This one has all the skills on it that have been in all the classes, so we have to gauge how well we've learned those things. Wait, I don't remember anything about this - or that! When did I miss those? Damn. I'll bet that was the week I was half dead from being on the bridge most of the night.

What to report to the parents when they get home. Well, I'm not going to tell them I ate all the cheesecake. Not on your life. Nor that I watched all the porn I could find. Good thing those questions aren't on here. Better not tell them I let the kids stay up until half an hour before the parents got home, either.

Limits - I'm supposed to assess my own limits? That's a hard one.

Job Preferences? Grayson. Not really looking to babysit with anyone else. He's enough.

What's this? A certificate? No kidding. Hey, I'm a certified babysitter. Go me.

He swaggered off down the corridor, gloated over having finished the damn course. And found Grayson standing in the middle of the corridor, small duffle in hand. "Hey, where's your dad, kid?"

"Gone."

"What do you mean, gone? Did he just go off and leave you in the middle of corridor? Spock? Where the heck are you?" He looked around, but didn't see anyone but Grayson.

"Unca Jeem!"

"Yeah, Grayson, I'm here. What do ya need?"

"Ride way up high, Unca Jeem."

He picked Grayson up and sat him on his shoulders, finally realizing that he held a small duffle. He took the duffle in one hand and wrapped the other around the small boy's waist. "What's this for, Grayson?"

"Clothes and fuzzy, Unca Jeem."

"Okay, why do you need clothes and a fuzzy, kid?"

"Fuzzy to sleep with tonight. Clothes to wear tomorrow."

Something began to register. "Uh, Grayson, where were you planning to sleep tonight?"

"With you, Unca Jeem. You take care of me all weekend. Mama and baba said so."

This must be the _real_ final test. They must be around here somewhere, hiding and watching. So much for his own plans for this weekend. But hey, this was why he took that stupid class in the first place.

"Okay, kid, let's go put your stuff in my quarters. Then we can go play on that trampoline again, how about?"

"Okay!" Grayson forgot he wasn't supposed to bounce when he was riding way up high and had to grab hold of Unca Jeem's hair, just for a minute. And then they were off down the hall - and two sets of eyes watched from hiding until they were out of sight and then turned and headed back to their own quarters for a much-needed quiet weekend - alone.

_____

Author's Note: This is the last chapter of this story. The next story in this sequence, "Baby Book - Phase Two", starts tomorrow :-)


End file.
